Where do you draw the line between distasteful vandalism and genuine, decorative ingenuity?

A wise man once mused whilst perched on his throne: “Since writing on toilet walls is done neither for critical acclaim or financial reward, it is the purest form of art.” Now, while I’d argue that it is perhaps not the ‘purest’ form of art, it is however bold and as entertaining as it can be inspiring.

We’ve all chuckled to ourselves on occasion when reading the various nonsensical scribbles that can be found on the inside of public toilet stalls. Some quotes are visionary and profound, while others are significantly less sophisticated – just as some bowel movements are pleasant and effortless, others can be fierce and disagreeable; such is the reality of the modern bathroom experience

How to anonymously enhance the general public’s bathroom experience. 

Let us take a look at the traditional penis doodle for example: Since the dawn of mankind both men and boys alike have been scribbling willy’s in inappropriate places in order to muster a laugh or two – it’s just what we do; a base and childish desire to misbehave that we’ll never grow out of. It is however far too easy, entirely overused and to be quite honest: a little boring. In fact, I find myself in disbelief every time that I walk into a public toilet and find that there ISN’T a large penis mural on the wall. So, if you really want to create something memorable you’re going to have to think outside the cubicle!

First of all you’ll need to decide on which route you wish to go down. There are many paths that you can take: the humorous approach, inspirational or motivational. Then of course there’s offensive, silly or crude. However I’d personally recommend one of the former, each to one’s own though.

“Don’t Force It” – Never has there been a more fitting piece of advice scrawled across a toilet stall. If you want to leave a truly astonishing quote for all the world to see the thing to remember is: Don’t force it! Allow your creativity to sync up with the rest of you so that just as the waste flows from your body; so too will the genius that lay dormant within you.

Never mind the old ‘your mom’ quips and “dial ### for a good time” – We’ve seen it all before! If you’ve got enough time to update your Facebook status and beat your high score on Candy Crush then you can afford a little time to think up something memorable and original. Otherwise you just as well put your sharpie away, wipe your arse and go home.

The world can be a scary and dangerous place and entering a public toilet can at times be unnerving. Do your part for society and help to improve the lives and experiences of others by sharing a little wisdom, kindness and humour for people to enjoy.

Oh, and don’t forget to wash your hands when you’re done!